Ash
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I'm stronger than you think
Posts: 170
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Kitchen
Aug 8, 2005 16:33:56 GMT -5
Post by Ash on Aug 8, 2005 16:33:56 GMT -5
Ash entered the kitchen. She was aware now that she should probably eat something. It was past lunch now and she hadn't eaten breakfast as usual. The Kitchen was mercifully empty. After the morning and the conversation in the hallway, it was nice to have some time alone. She searched through the cabnits and found herself some sandwhich things.
She quickly made herself a sandwich grabbed a glass of milk and sat down at the table. The morning and a little of the afternoon had been wonderful. A few mishaps but mostly wonderful. A great day for her in fact. Josephs departure in the hall had been a bit abrupt, but then he might have gotten a telepathic message. She chewed slowly as she thought about him. What had he said to Rogue? That he had overtaxed himself... She thought adults would have better control than that. She wondered silently if he was hiding something, Rogue hadn't seemed to thrilled about what he said.
Still he liked her gift, that was good. She hadn't really though much about it, but she did want him to like it. It was the first gift she'd given since the accident. She sighed, so much for not thinking about the past. She wondered wether she'd made the right descsion. Was it possible to forget the past? This was something she would have to talk over with someone. She herself couldn't figure it out.
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Ash
Full Member
I'm stronger than you think
Posts: 170
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Kitchen
Aug 24, 2005 16:41:59 GMT -5
Post by Ash on Aug 24, 2005 16:41:59 GMT -5
( For the sake of keeping myself from going insane)
Ash weighed the two sides in her mind. If she did forget her past, she could start all over again with a clean slate. She wouldn't have to feel guilty of anything, she wouldn't have to be afraid of anything. She would be free, something she had wanted even before her manifestation. Her house had felt like a prison with her parents always fighting, but if she forgot that then it wouldn't weigh on her mind. However, then she wouldn't have a past at all. Nothing to look back on and smile at how it had been, or learn from her own mistakes or others. She wouldn't be able to do certain things if she was always trying to not think about it. But if she did remember, then would she always be shy, confused, hurt, and scared? Would she ever be able to trust people again? She trusted Aunt Besty, but that was through sheer effort and perseverence on Aunt Besty's part. What about her powers? would she ever trust herself enough to control them? the answer was no, she wouldn't. She would always think of the people she'd killed, even if it was by accident.
Ash sighed, she wouldn't have this problem if she was still in prison... She'd have other problems. She sat for a while musing about which one she would rather have. Niether, but the now that she had been out for two months she would fight anyone and anything to never ever go back! She loved and hated Magneto for setter her and the other's free, if any other's had gotten out. What the people had done to them at the PMCF was more than inhuman. She shivered thinking about it. SHe could feel the needles in her skin. She rubbed her hands up and down her arms trying to rid herself of the feeling. What about Magneto though. Joseph had said that magneto had been in a prison camp and that was why, along with the reason that he hated seeing mutants hurt or tortured, Magneto had set them free. Still Ash wanted to hear why out of his own mouth. She wanted to face Magneto and ask him why face to face. She wanted to ask him how he could put millions of people in danger by setting 'murderers' on the loose. To do that she had to remember her past, but the chance of talking to Magneto was so slim that she wondered if it was worth it?
A tear trickled down Ash's cheek. Fine, she would remember, but she would change to! She couldn't keep living like this afraid of her own shadow. That was too dangerous, she might burn a friend. She needed to learn control, and maybe one day she would get to speak with Magneto.
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Kitchen
Sept 12, 2005 20:51:02 GMT -5
Post by Joseph on Sept 12, 2005 20:51:02 GMT -5
Joseph pushed open the door to the kitchen, wondering why he'd not eaten the sandwich Sean had given him. Granted, he had been incredibly nauseated when he'd been offered the food, but perhaps his stomach would not be protesting quite so noisily if he had eaten something then.
Ash was sitting at the table, an empty plate and glass in front of her, looking off into the distance. He paused nearby, noting her troubled expression. He hoped she wasn't still embarrassed by the whole gift giving fiasco. He hadn't been in a very coherent mindset and had a bad feeling he had upset her terribly.
Joseph cleared his throat softly, then spoke, so as not to have his voice coming out of the nowhere startle her. Kitchens were bad places for spontaneous fires. "Is everything all right, Ash?" he asked gently.
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Ash
Full Member
I'm stronger than you think
Posts: 170
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Kitchen
Sept 12, 2005 21:59:18 GMT -5
Post by Ash on Sept 12, 2005 21:59:18 GMT -5
Ash eyes slowly focused as she heard a soft cough. Someone was either in the hall or knew enough about her to take precautions. She turned as Joseph spoke. He looked better than he had earlier, that was good. He asked her if everythng was ok and she began to say yes, but stopped. She was so tired of lying. He obviously had seen something was wrong and if she said no he would know she was denying it.
Slowly she shook her head and then looked away, " But I'll be ok." She wondered what it was he had come down here for originally and then remembered she was in the kitchen. Food was the obvious answer. she picked up her glass and plate and walked over to the sink. " You look better." She said quietly and then began to rinse out her dishes.
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Kitchen
Sept 14, 2005 22:11:49 GMT -5
Post by Joseph on Sept 14, 2005 22:11:49 GMT -5
Ash looked up as Joseph spoke, shaking her head at his question. "But I'll be ok," she assured him. He frowned slightly, watching her cross to the sink and rinse her dishes. His mind went back to their conversation in the recreation room the evening before. The child had been imprisoned in that jail for God knows how long, likely being tortured. Freeing her and the other mutants might have been the only good act his genetic template had ever committed. He'd been a prisoner once, had been tortured brutally in Antarctica. He hoped she hadn't suffered half as much as he had. She was far too young to know such cruelty.
"You look better." Ash observed, drawing his attention back to her.
Joseph offered her a gentle smile. "Yes, I feel much better," he told her. "I fear Sean was correct and I merely needed rest." He leaned against a counter, crossing his arms loosely across his chest.
He did feel much better and he had been thinking about their conversation in the recreation room. It had saddened him to see how frightened she was of her powers, how the fear hurt her control. Perhaps, if she would let him, he would be able to show her the beauty in her own power. She should be proud of being a mutant, not frightened of her gifts.
"Ash," he began hesitantly. "Do you remember what we spoke of in the recreation room? If you would feel up to it, I would happily begin your tutoring in controlling your powers today. I have some time and after I eat, I will be more than capable of using my own gifts without any ill effects. If you wish to have me teach you."
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Ash
Full Member
I'm stronger than you think
Posts: 170
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Kitchen
Sept 15, 2005 8:05:43 GMT -5
Post by Ash on Sept 15, 2005 8:05:43 GMT -5
Ash set her cup in the dish drain as he answered her question, following with her plate. "I fear Sean was correct and I merely needed rest." She turned and attempted to look cheerful. It wasn't that she wanted to be sad, it was just that she wasn't very happy at the moment. Still at least she didn't feel uncomfortable around Joseph. From the little that she knew about him, she liked him... she wasn't even sure why, but she did. She felt safe enough to speak to him like he was a human being. " Doctors usually are..." She trailed off and watched him silently. He was thinking of something, she didn't want to interrupt. She would have left, but that would be rude and interrupting as well.
Finally He looked at her and began slowly. "Ash, Do you remember what we spoke of in the recreation room? Her mind immediatly flashed to Magneto. Magneto, she would talk to him one day. If you would feel up to it, I would happily begin your tutoring in controlling your powers today... Ash's eyes dropped to the ground. Her powers, he wasn't talking about his clone, he was speaking about her. She remembered his offer to help her and was a little surprised at how soon he wanted to begin. His timing was fantastic though, just when she resolved to change and get control of her powers he showed up... Right when if she refused she would be going back on her promise and she would never be able to trust herself again. She couldn't refuse.
Ash licked her lips, " i'll do it."she didn't want to do this. At least the very very few times she done it with Aunt Besty the woman had been a little safe. She could get into Ash's head and stop it. Joseph niehter had healing powers or what Aunt Besty could do... " What if I hurt you?"
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