Rogue's room

[Ash]

Ash came into the room and picked her way across the floor to the bed. Rogues little joke, even though it probably wasn't true, had made her feel a little better.
She sank down on the bed gratefully, she was tired now, as always after loosing control.
She wiped the excess tears from her face, she didn't want to feel them there, and she didn't want to look like a cry baby either.
She looked at the shoebox in Rogues hand and frowned. What was that?

[Rogue]

She smiled at Ash, as she sat down next to her and opened the box. Inside were newspaper clippings. She dumped the contents of the box out on the bed and pulled out one of the articles. The title was "Mysterious force puts ten year old boy in coma"

She handed the article to Ash and cleared her throat. "That boy was mah best friend. That's the first time that mah powers manifested." She ducked her head as she continued. "He was in that coma for ten years. Then he died."

She pulled out a number of other clippings, all with similar headlines. People found dead or in comas, with no outward signs of trauma.

[Ash]

Ash held the clipping in trembling hands, She didn't really understand. It was just words on a page. they were just words... That's what she'd always forced herself to think, just words, they didn't mean anything. But these did.
These dd.
She pulled out another one, and another one. Tears again forming in her eyes, " I'm so sorry." She whispered, " I didn't know..." She finally came back to the article about the ten year old boy, and just stared at it.
" Wha.. What did you do?"
Her vision blurred the title out as she remembered her parent's deaths.
"What do you do, when you hurt somone you love?"

[Rogue]

Rogue shook her head. "Back then, Ah did what Ah thought Ah had t' do. Ah ran. Ah didn't want t' be around anyone, too scared that Ah'd kill anybody who tried t' get close to me."

She paused, wishing that she had had more concrete of a plan when she decided to show Ash the clippings. "But you can't run forever. An' nothin' you can do will make the people that love you love you any less. That's what love is."

She sifted through the pile of clippings and pulled out an old, worn photograph, from shortly after she'd met Mystique. Sighing, she sat the picture down on the bed. "Ah can't promise that things'll get much better... hell, look at me. It's been years an' Ah still don't have much control over mah powers. But you gotta know that when you're with people that care, it makes it feel like things are better, even when they aren't. An' that's a big step."

[Ash]

A tear fell down Ash's cheek, " I'm not an innocent person either, I've killed a bunch of people. Why do you think I was in prison? You've all been great... But I gotta keep running. I can't let anyone near, not because I'm afraid I'll hurt them. But because I KNOW I will. Everyone that's been near me..." She looked away, " If I don't know that it will get better... I can't take that chance." She stood up and walked away, " I'm not afraid of being hated. I can deal with that, I'm not afraid of being alone, I've done that too. I'm afraid of hurting people. I just can't help it."
She turned back to rogue, " No one is ever safe around me, ever. I never know when I'll loose it. It happens when I'm sleeping. I'll have a nightmare, and wake up, and everything around me is burning up."
She didn't know what to do with herself, " I'm not telling you so you can feel sorry for me. "
Ash wished there was something she could say to make Rogue understand, understand why she had to go, why she couldn't stay.
" Your guys are the closest thing to a family I got... I got to know you guys are safe... for me. I killed my parents... I don't want to kill you guys too."

[Rogue]

Rogue flew over her, blocking the door in case Ash decided to try and make an exit.

"Ash, all of us have hurt people before. Most of us have killed people. None of us are happy about it." She thought for a minute, then continued. "Remy... Gambit. When he first showed up here, he had a problem a lot like yours. He couldn't stop himself from blowin' up everything that he touched. Same thing. Middle of th' night, he'd wake up to find that his blanket was about to explode."

"You can run all you want, but Ah'm givin' you some free advice. This is the place that you want t' end up runnin' back to. It took me years t' realize that. Why waste the time runnin' now when you could be spendin' it tryin' to fix the problem? Besides, everyone here knows what we're gettin' ourselves into. If there was any chance that you'd pose a threat to us, Charlie wouldn't have let you come live here in the first place."

She moved from the door a little bit, hoping that she'd be able to back down completely soon. "The reason Ah asked you to come up here is so that Ah could show you. You ain't alone. Almost everyone here has a story a lot like yours, and Ah thought it might do you good to hear part of mine. Ah reckon you'll make up your own mind about this all. Choose to leave or not, this place will always be here for you." She tugged at her electronic wristband and smiled somewhat sheepishly. "Even if you break a ton of international laws and free hundreds of convicts for no apparent reason."

She looked at Ash, hoping that she was getting through. "And Ah don't feel sorry for you. Not one bit. You and Ah both know that you're doin' more than enough feelin' sorry for yourself."

[Ash]

Ash sat back down on the bed, " All of you? then this is just a time bomb wiating to explode!" She laughed bitterly, but it died away quickly.
She didn't know what to do anymore, everything inside her told her to run, but Rogue brought up something she'd hadn't known before. This place was full of people like her, Gambit... She'd just been talking with him in the kitchen, and he seemed fine. They'd lost somebody...
She shook her head wishing it would all just go away and leave her with a clear path.
" I guess I'm afraid to love again..."
She stood up and looked at Rogue, she suddenly felt very calm.
" I need to think."

[Rogue]

Rogue nodded and moved away from the door. "Ah know what you mean by that." She gestured to the door "You can hang out in here if you want... Ah've got to go see a man about some cocoa."

Heading towards the door, she turned and smiled at Ash. "Ah'm here if you ever want to talk."

She left, reminding herself to clean up the clippings later.

((Rogue goes to the kitchen))

[Ash]

Ash was about to defend Gambit, but let it be, instead she remained on the bed and leaned up against the wall. She had a lot to sort through, a lot of priorities to arrange, and she had to clear her thoughts to do it, and stop feeling sorry for herself.
She pushed the incedent in the RecRoom out of her mind, she couldn't think about that. Instead she thought about everything Rogue had said.
Rogue was not one to mince her words, Ash knew Rogue was telling her straight out how it was. She hadn't tried to win Ash over, or tell her to leave, she'd just told her the facts.
Ash sighed and rubbed her temples. She was tired.
Afraid to love again... That's what it all boiled down to. Ash was afraid to love. After everything Betsy and the professor, and everyone had done, she realized she had never really shown them the real her. Yeah she'd always held back, but she hadn't known why.
but in truth, she did love Betsy. That's what scared her most. She picked up the clipping of the ten year old boy. She'd been 14 when it happened to her. And suddenly she was gratefull for that. If she'd ben that young... Ash didn't know what she would have done.
Ash began to put the clippings back in the box. And with each one, she resolved something in her. Put some worry to rest, some internal battle stopped. And she thought about everything Rogue had said.

But you can't run forever. An' nothin' you can do will make the people that love you love you any less. That's what love is.

Another clipping went into the box

This is the place that you want t' end up runnin' back to.

And another

If there was any chance that you'd pose a threat to us, Charlie wouldn't have let you come live here in the first place."


Then they were all gone. She set the lid on the box.


Choose to leave or not, this place will always be here for you."

Ash lay back against the wall and closed her eyes.

You ain't alone

Ash smiled, for some reason she felt as if she'd known all along she'd stay here. Here at the school. She'd called them family when talking to Rogue, and she knew they always would be.
Ash curled up and fell asleep.

[Ash]

Ash woke up with a jerk, startled to see that she had fallen asleep. She blushed furiously and stood up from Rogues bed, but sat down again as the room spun around her. She waited for the blood rush to wear off and then stood up again. She was starving now, her tiredness gone. She glanced at the clock, she smiled to find she'd only slept for 30min to and hour.
She had intended to leave immediatly, but the box caught her eye. It had contained so many headings, so many pictures. She wondered how many people Rogue had talked to about it. She found a scrap of paper in the mess of Rogues room and placed it on top of the box. It said,

Thanks
Ash

With that she left. To find the kitchen.

*ash exits*

[Rogue]

Rogue walked in to check in on Ash and noticed that the girl was gone. Walking over to the box, she smiled a she read the note. She slipped it inside the shoebox and made her way to the closet to put it away. She tucked it in with her other thngs and pulled on a sweater.

[Gambit]

He didn't bother to knock and instead just let himself in. A smile crept across his face as he saw that she was getting dressed. Quietly, he crept up behind her and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Looks like Remy missed de good part of de dressing ritual, non?"

[Rogue]

She jumped as he tapped her, and wheeled around just before he spoke. Trying to fight back a smile, she narrowed her eyes at him and glared.

"You're a pervert."

She pushed past him, letting her smile break out once her back was to him again, and started towards her door.

[Gambit]

He grinned, knowing full well that she wasn't really angry at him. He followed her to the door and leaned against the wall.

"So... where we goin'? I imagine it isn't out for a night on de town or anyt'ing..."

He braced himself, in case she decided to hit him. Since she'd been put on house arrest, he'd had a wonderful time making fun of her for it, while at the same time being quite grateful that she'd risked so much to get that green thing out of him.

Grinning, he opened the door for her and bowed gracefully, letting her lead the way.

[Rogue]

She took a deep breath and exercised all of her self restraint. She could hit him, but that's what he'd be expecting. Instead, she smiled sweetly and answered his question. "We're going upstairs to get the rest of the decorations. Then you're gonna help me put them up."

When he opened the door and bowed, she laughed and then kneed him in the stomach softly (for her, at least). "Be glad Ah didn't aim lower, Remy."

((Rogue and Gambit exit to the Attic))